The Search Continues

It has been a week since I lost my wedding rings. I have shed many tears,  gotten very little sleep and been able to think of little else. Kris has been through the dumpsters in our alley . . . . twice. We have moved furniture and searched the house over.

My rings mean so much to me. Of course they remind me of my promise to Kris, but they also hold some precious memories.

The engagement ring rode around in Kris's truck for over a week until he finally mustered up enough nerve to pop the question. When he did, I screamed and he asked "Is that a yes?'

Two days before the wedding, Kris stopped by the church where my sister and I were decorating. He took me by the hand and led me into the kitchen beside the fellowship hall. He looked into my eyes and asked me if I would run away with him that afternoon and elope. "I would marry you today if you would let me," he said and I believed him. He had the wedding band in his pocket, just in case I said "yes".  But I had a fluffy white dress and bridesmaids and hundreds of roses and a five-tiered cake and a violinist . . . . I made him wait two more days.

I don't have a picture of my ring. At the wedding reception, my blood sugar plummeted and I started to feel faint. I have to eat 9 small meals a day to keep everything balanced and I had only eaten twice on my wedding day. The photographer was about to take a photo of our rings and noticed my hands trembling. She asked if I was OK and I said "no". Kris grabbed a piece of cake and I gobbled it down. By the time I was finished eating, I was feeling better, the band was rocking, and we had all forgotten about the ring picture.

When I was expecting Zack, I was prepared to wear my rings on a chain when my hands started to swell. But, my hands didn't swell. I lost 14 pounds while pregnant. My rings were too big.

I lost my rings once before, when Bailey was 2 years old. She liked to wear them and would put them on whenever she found them in my little glass ring cup on the dresser. I found them a few days later in my purse. I have no proof, but I am certain the culprit was a little black-haired toddler. (She is 9 years old now and still likes to try them on.)

I was upset when 3 years ago, the nurse made me take my rings off before I had gallbladder surgery. They have been such a source of comfort to me and I didn't want to be without them during surgery. She let me keep my rainbow-striped, good luck socks, but made me take off my rings. It just didn't seem right. I would have much rather taken off my socks.

Kris holds my hand and kisses my ring. It's just a silly little ritual, but it hurts that it has been an entire week since he has kissed my ring. My hand feels lighter and I hate to say that I am starting to get used to the way it feels without my ring. Today, I slipped on my grandmother's ring, just to have something to wear on my left ring finger. I don't want to get used to my rings being gone. I keep telling myself I am only wearing my grandmother's ring until I find my own.

I am determined to find them, so fighting back tears, the search continues.

Homeschool 2012-2013

Summer is not quiet over for us yet. While most families are scrambling to get all of the "back-to-school" goodies and trying to squeeze out the last few days of summer, our summer is still going strong. One of the advantages of homeschooling is that we get to set our own school calendar. So, we won't start back until September.

This doesn't mean I will be spending my days laying by the pool. Most homeschool moms spend a large majority of the summer planning the next school year.

As I have looked back over the past year and made plans for the future, two words have been consistently brought to mind: simplicity and balance.

We are cutting back on outside activities and I have re-arranged my violin teaching schedule to accommodate my family's needs. One of the reasons I wanted to homeschool was that I loved the idea of spending long days, teaching my children and enjoying their company. As another mom once said, "It's hard to homeschool when you are never home!" I am being very stingy with our homeschool time. I am making "home time" a priority.

Another change headed our way is the opportunity to travel more. If all goes as planned, we will be taking school on the road every once in a while. Our family loves to travel and this is a welcome opportunity. Having school in the mountains is a dream, especially when it comes to nature study!

Probably the biggest change for me, though, is going to be incorporating technology into our curriculum. Augh! Screens give me a headache. I would much rather read a book while sitting under a tree than to be trapped inside, glued to a screen. I am both dreading and looking forward to teaching the kids how to use our new tablet. I am truly not sure how I feel about this, but I will let you know if we love it or if we decide to sell it cheap on eBay.

One of the things I LOVE about homeschool is the ability to design our own course of study and cater it to the needs and interests of our children. I also love the fact that once we breeze through the basics each day, we can study the "fun stuff".

Each day, we will use Bob Jones curriculum for reading, English, science, and history. We will use Spelling Power and Math U See.

Then, we get to sit back and relax while we make our way through Geography Through Art, The Ultimate Geography and Timeline Guide, Let's Meet Famous Artists, Teaching Character Through Literature, Meet the Great Composers, Prima Latina, Then Sings My Soul: Favorite Hymn Stories, Inspiration Station Art, and The Ultimate Homeschool Physical education Game Book. Bailey will be doing a unit study on the American Girls Collection and Zack will be working on a unit study about inventors and their inventions. Nature Journals are our constant companion . I will mention it here, but Nature Study has become a way of life, not necessarily a school subject. It's just something we do everyday.

Another very important part of our children's education is "Grandparent Time." We are blessed to have my parents living just a few miles away. Weekly visits with  the grandparents are an invaluable opportunity for education and something Bailey and Zack look forward to! Pa Pa teaches them about gardening, woodworking, dominoes, and checkers. Nanny teaches them music and baking. Bailey and Zack learn so much from their grandparents about respect and having a Godly world view. They have also learned how to tie a string around a locust, how to shoot a BB gun, and the best way to catch a catfish. They have even learned to speak "Okie".

We are cutting back on a few outside activities, but we are still going to continue music lessons, and couple of "social clubs". Oh, and don't forget 4 trips to the ice rink each week for figure skating and hockey! I know it sounds like a lot, but this is actually a slower schedule for our family. Several of these activities over-lap, so the time commitment is not as great as it first appears.

So, there you have it - a nice, simple, balanced homeschool year in the plan book. Now, I'm off to pack for a couple of weeks in the mountains. We still have an entire month of summer!

Walking Blind

One Friday afternoon, few years ago, we were driving home from violin lesson when Bailey said, "Mama, I have a funny feeling in my tummy."

"Are you sick?" I asked.

"No", she said, "I just having a funny feeling about something. . . . . . how did I get here? I mean, you adopted me from Korea, but how was I born? Zacky came from your tummy, but where did I come from?"

Why are the BIG questions always asked in heavy traffic?

You see, we hadn't told Bailey about her birthmom. We had talked about Korea, the "Babies Home", her foster mother, the airplane, the paperwork, the attorney, the judge, citizenship, the baby shower - all of the "easy" things about adoption. We had answered all of her questions honestly, but for some reason, the subject of a birthmom had never come up. It didn't come up until that day, driving down Hillside in heavy traffic.

Deep down inside I wanted to say, "Let's wait until Daddy gets home from work and we'll sit down and talk about it." But I didn't. I didn't want this to be uncomfortable. I didn't want it to seem like a big secret or a difficult subject, so I just blurted out "You came from another lady's tummy. She loved you very much and wanted you to have a family. She wasn't able to take care of you and she wanted you to have a good life. So, after you were born, she found some people who helped her find us. We needed a baby and you needed a Mommy and Daddy, so God put us together."

When we got home, I let her and Zack rummage through her "baby box" that is kept in my closet. We had looked through it before many times, but it meant more to her this time. She looked at her passport, pictures of her foster mother, the clothes she was wearing on the airplane. . . . then Zack jumped up and ran out of the room. "I can't talk about this anymore!"

"Why mom?" He asked in tears. "Why didn't that lady keep her? It makes me sad."

We've talked to Bailey about adoption her entire life. We've tried to answer questions honestly. We haven't brought up issues that we felt were not age appropriate. We've read books about adoption and celebrated her Korean heritage. I thought I had done everything "right". I have always been so sensitive to Bailey's thoughts and emotions concerning adoption, but I never even considered what Zack was thinking or feeling. Zack was really troubled. I never dreamed he would react this way.

"I just don't know what I would do if you didn't want me when I came out of your tummy,"  he sobbed, "Poor Bailey." We tried to reassure him that it wasn't that she didn't want Bailey. She just couldn't take care of her.

Wow. I was NOT ready for all of this. Things finally "settled down" after a couple of weeks and I thought we had made it through a rough patch.

Until last night.

Bailey brought me a picture she had drawn of a smiling lady holding a baby. "My birthmom," she said in a monotone voice, "and me." Then she turned and left the room. I slipped into her room and asked her if she wanted to talk. "Yes," she said, "I want to talk about my dollhouse."

So, we talked about her dollhouse. We talked about the furniture, the dolls who live there, the next "home improvement project" she would like Pa Pa to start working on. We talked for a long time. I guess I was waiting for her to bring up her adoption, but she didn't. She just wanted to talk about her dollhouse.

I don't want either of my children to hurt. I want them to both see the side of adoption that is wonderful and beautiful. I don't want them to see the other side - the side that can cause sadness and confusion. I just want them to feel loved, accepted, treasured, and happy.

Bailey and I have a special bond. From the moment my big brown eyes met her tiny little black ones, we have been linked together. There is a quiet comfort when we are together. We belong together.  I will never see adoption as anything but a miracle. My daughter may have been born half a world away, but the love I have for her is as deep as any mother's love. I could go on and on, trying to explain the love I have for my little Korean angel, but it all boils down to one thing : She is my daughter. It is as simple as that.

A while back, after a fun day together, she said, "You're the best, Mom. I'm so glad I came here because, you know, when you're adopted from Korea, you just never know WHAT kind of mom you're gonna get!"

Being a mom the hardest, happiest thing in my world. I am trying to just take things a day at a time, answering questions gently and honestly. I am trying to keep my emotions at bay. There are times I am panicking on the inside and acting casual on the outside. There have been times I have poured out my heart to God, asking for wisdom and there have been times when I have sent up a quick "help me say the right thing" prayer.

Trust me, I have read all the books, but I still feel like I am walking blind through a forest. I just keep putting one foot in front of the other, hoping I don't bump into a tree or trip on a fallen log.

Kris walked into the house one day after a long day at work and Bailey said "Hey Dad, I know I came out of another lady's tummy, but how did I get in there in the first place?"

Yikes!

Kris said "Hmmm. That's a good question". She turned and hopped out of the room.

Whew! That was a close one!

My Husband Thinks I am Pretty

I found a note one morning, a couple of weeks ago, stuck to my bathroom mirror. It was from my husband. It said, "You are beautiful. I love you."

It's funny, when you think about it. It was just a little note on a heart-shaped piece of paper, stuck to the bathroom mirror. It's funny, how something so simple could mean so much.

My husband thinks I am pretty.


He is the first one to tell me I look nice. He tells me he likes my hair, my new outfit.

Even on days I pull my hair into a messy ponytail and wear my jeans and flip flops, he tells me I am pretty.

Sometimes I laugh. I think it is absurd. I look in the mirror and see a tired, frazzled, frumpy, highly imperfect person and yet my husband thinks I am pretty. How can that be?

I have quit trying to figure it out. I have quit accusing him of being dishonest. I just relish in the fact that my husband thinks I am pretty.

There is an incredible security in that.

VBS

I wanted her to enjoy VBS.

I wanted her to make crafts, eat cookies, play games, make friends.

She wanted the same thing, I think.

But it was too much to handle and Tuesday evening, we got a call from the church.

She was crying. They didn't know why. She wanted to come home.

We rushed to get her.

She said she was thirsty, there were too many people, it was too loud.

I wanted her to have a great week.

I wanted her to make good memories.

I wanted her to enjoy VBS.

It's just a little thing. It is mild, in comparison.

We could be dealing with much worse.

But it still makes this mama's heart sad, somtimes.

Books: Where We Go, What We Do Part 5

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"The more that you read, the more things you will know.

The more that you learn, the more places you'll go."

Dr. Seuss

Bailey had a check-up today. The doctor went through his list of questions -

"How is she doing in school?"
"Does she eat plenty of vevatables?"
"Does she get at lest 8 hours of sleep a night?"
"What are her hobbies?"


I rattled off answers and everything was status quo until he asked, "On average, how many hours of TV does she watch in a day?"
"Less than an hour." I honestly answered.
He looked at me over his glasses.
"Really?"
"On average, yes."
I'm not sure he believed me, but I answered honestly.


Bailey and Zack watch very little TV. They spend much more time reading books than watching TV. Out of curiosity, I timed Zack one day last week. He sat and read a book for 1 hour and 45 minutes before he decided to go outside to play. Later, he came back in and read more. He didn't watch TV at all that day.


I started reading to Bailey and Zack when they were infants. We had Bailey for less than 24 hours when I cuddled up on the hotel bed and read "Goodnight Moon" to her for the first time. Zack learned to read at the age of 3. Reading is part of who they are.


We have a wall of bookshleves in our school room. When the house is quiet, I can usally find one of them curled up on a beanbag chair in front of those shelves, reading.


We make frequent trips to the library. Bailey and Zack have their own library cards, which are treasures. This increases the number of books we can check out and they feel very grown-up, going to the counter with their stack of books and checking them out with their very own library cards! We go to the library at least once a week and come home with stacks and stacks of new books to read. It is pure joy!


When Zacky was 6 years old, he saw Kris sitting with a book. "What are you doing, Daddy?"


"Reading."


"No you're not. You're not saying anything."


Zack was used to be read to by Dad. He couldn't figure out how Dad could read without reading out loud!


Kris reads to the kids every night. I read to them every morning. In between times they read to themselves or even to each other! This morning, they were sitting on the couch. Zack was listening as Bailey read him a book.


We are a reading family!

Nature: Where We Go, What We Do Part 4

We sit in the mud ..... and reach for the stars.

Ivan Turgenev

We are outdoor-sy people. Like everyone else, I enjoy a nice restaurant and hotel, but I also love sleeping in a tent and cooking over a fire. I know not every one enjoys these things and that's OK. To each his own. But I do think nature is an important part of children's lives. I've posted about this before, so I will stay off my soapbox for now.


Kris and I have always loved camping and hiking. The rougher, the farther away from civilization, the better. One of our favorite camping spots is an hour away from pavement and 2 hours away from the nearest little town. It is paradise. 



When we had children, though, we started camping and hiking in "tamer" areas that are closer to civilization. We learned it doesn't have to be so extreme to be fun! (It is funny, though, that our closest run-in with a bear was in one of these "tamer" areas. A large black bear crept within 3 feet of a sleeping Zacky. Kris quickly scared the bear away, but my heart has still not completely recovered from that incident!) 



We have gone tent camping, hiking, fishing, jeeping, and gold-panning. I think we have successfully instilled a love of nature in our children. A few months ago, we made a trip to Dallas. We visited Lego Land, The American Girl Store, The Rain Forest Cafe, The Sea Life Aquarium, The Science and Natural History Museum, ice skated at the Galleria, shopped at the Lego Store, toured the Texas Motor Speedway . . . . .  The kids had a blast, but on the way home I overheard a conversation that included the statement: Dallas was fun, but the mountains are better.


Camping is such an amazing family adventure, but if staying overnight in a tent is intimidating, then take your children on a hike. It's a great way to enjoy the outdoors and you can sleep in a real bed when the day is done! Our first family hike, we "wore" Bailey and Zack in baby backpacks. They had so much fun, grasping at leaves as we hiked by trees. Thankfully, they are now able to walk on their own and enjoy longer hikes. Zack calls it "adventuring" and I can't think of a better name for it.


Time is a huge factor when it comes to camping and hiking. If you do not have an entire day to devote to nature, then it is time to figure out ways to enjoy the great outdoors in your own area and even your own backyard.

As I have said before, our backyard is tiny. But we are making the most of it with a small vegetable patch, butterfly garden, bird feeders, tree house, rock garden, and dirt box. We also have logs and stumps scattered around for climbing and a water barrel just for fun.

We go on family bike rides in the mornings or evenings and play basketball on the driveway. Sidewalk chalk is another necessity at our house as well as water balloons and bubbles. Nature Scavenger Hunts are fun, too. We have a handy dandy bandanna version called "Nature Quest".


Our children keep nature journals. This is another excellent way to enjoy nature! We grab our journals, a nice quilt, some colored pencils, binoculars, a magnifying glass, and nature guidebooks and we are set for a fantastic afternoon of nature! I keep these things together in a big bag, so when the mood strikes, we do not have to waste time gathering our supplies. Sometimes we take our nature bag and go exploring. Other times, we just sit in our front yard. There is something special about sitting on my grandmothers quilt, sketching blue jays with my children.




Never underestimate the joy of being outdoors after dark! Flashlights, a small telescope, and star guides are in our arsenal of nature tools. We also have a fire pit and keep marshmallows on hand for impromptu "campfires" in the front yard.

I am always scouring book stores for nature guides. I want my children to enjoy nature and also become knowledgeable about plants and wildlife. We enjoy basic guide books and we also love The Bumper Book of Nature: A Users Guide to the Great Outdoors. It is one of my favorite books of all time! It is a basic "how-to" guide for enjoying nature with children. It includes instructions for outdoor activities year-round.  The Dangerous Book for Boys  has directions for several nature activities, as well. If you are feeling adventurous, then you need to read Extreme Kids. It covers everything from kite boarding to rock climbing!


Mark Jenkins, columnist for Outside magazine said, "You want your kids to have character, confidence, and courage, then banish Xbox, Nintendo, and Game Boy and take them on an adventure!"

I couldn't agree more.

Games and Puzzles: Where We Go, What We Do Part 3

There are all sorts of studies linking board games and jigsaw puzzles to heightened critical thinking skills,  logical reasoning, meta-cognition, intellectual intelligence, and enhanced social skills and while I am sure all of these studies are legitimate, this is not why we enjoy board games and puzzles. We just like playing together. It's fun.


We keep all of our board games and jigsaw puzzles in the living room. They were on an open shelf, but, well, it's looked cluttered and ugly.  So, I bought a cabinet with doors and now the game boxes are well hidden.



We own several board games, but this is a list of our favorites:

Chess
Monopoly
Hiss
Headache
Slamwich
Connect Four
Checkers
Kerplunk
Operation
Picturika
Guess Who
In a Pickle
Othello
Mastermind
Gone Fishing
Battleship
Rumikub


We also like to do puzzles.  Right now, a 100 piece puzzle is the perfect size for our kids to complete in one sitting. There are all kinds of jigsaw puzzles available. I try to look for puzzles with pictures that I think Bailey and Zack would be interested in. So, we do not have puzzles with pictures of gardens, houses, flowers, historical buildings. I look for pictures that are fun and interesting. We have puzzles of m&m's, glow-in-the-dark dinosaurs, cupcakes, ferocious animals, cute animals, a glow-in-the-dark ocean scene . . .


Our little family looks forward to evenings at home with popcorn and board games. It is a great way to spend time together!

Art: Where We Go, What We Do Part 2

OK, I admit it. I'm a huge art dork. I love art. I love making art, teaching art, looking at art, buying art, reading about art. There is something magical about transforming a clean white canvas into something beautiful. Art is one of my passions.

So, it is only natural that my children are surround by art. We try to do something creatively messy every day. Yes, you heard me, I said "MESSY". Those of you who know my pre-occupation with neatness will giggle when you read this. So let me explain - art mess is good mess. Clutter, laundry, dishes are bad messes. But enough about that. Let's get into the messy fun part!

My first piece of advice is this: buy the best quality of art supplies that you can afford. Sure, the kids may fly through them, but it is so much better letting them experiment with the "good stuff".

Second, get rid of those coloring books and craft kits! Now, if you search our household, you WILL find these things tucked away in a cabinet, but we save them for long car trips when we need something to do on the road! I prefer "open art". That is, BLANK sheets of paper and a collection of interesting found and purchased art objects.

Third, make messes. If you are a tad bit fussy, like someone I know, you can use plastic chopping mats, newspaper, or wax paper to cover your surface. If it's something super messy, take it outside or in the garage if the weather isn't co-operating.

We have two "art shelves" in the dining area, since most of our art is created at the kitchen table. One is for mommy, one is for the children. I keep theirs well stocked with things like watercolors, tempera paint, oil pastels, polymer clay, model magic, brushes, pencils, rolling pins, cookie cutters, dried beans, sea shells, yarn, shiny stones, buttons, pipe cleaners, scissors, glue, a spin-art machine, a small sewing machine, felt, scraps of fabric, water color paper, drawing paper, construction paper, origami paper, chalk, pom poms, tissue paper, foil, mod-podge, feathers, and more. I also keep a supply of blank canvases that we only use on special days. Things I do not include are stickers, craft foam, coloring books, and craft kits. There is nothing wrong with these things - they are just not my favorites.

I like to introduce new materials when they are available - interesting books to tear apart (gasp!), bubble wrap, stamps, cardboard, wire, old hardware, pine cones, bits and pieces of broken jewelry, post cards, tags, blocks of wood, lace, anything vintage . . . .

I keep things in clear, glass jars. If the kids can't see it, they won't use it and I want them to use it! Glass isn't the best option, though, for families with tiny ones! 

Beside the art shelf, there is a basket of art books. If the kids hit a creative wall, I encourage them to look through a few books. We have art books filled with artwork by Michelangelo, Cezane', Monet, DaVinci, and Rembrandt. We also have a beautiful book called Artist to Artist filled with art work by children's book illustrators.

If my little artists STILL feel uninspired, I lead them to the how-to books. They will chose a project and take off. It's interesting that their artwork will then take on a life of it's own and the finished product rarely matches the project they chose from the book. Individual creativity always wins out!

Bailey enjoys sewing, so for Christmas, Santa gave her a cute pink and purple sewing machine made by Singer. It is a finicky little thing and not something she can use on her own. If I am not able to sit down with her to sew, she will get out a needle and thread and do some hand sewing. If you have a little seamstress in your house, I highly recommend a book called My First Sewing Book. It is easy to read and filled with fun projects that can be completed with OR without a sewing machine.


My two favorite sources of inspiration are Create With Me and The Artistic Mother. Both are filled with ideas on how to create art WITH your children. I love to paint, art journal, and create mixed media projects. As soon as I sit down to work, I will have a little person sitting next to me wanting to "help".

Create With Me is a magazine. At $14.99 an issue, it is a little pricey, but very much worth it. It is my "go-to" source when I have little "helpers".

The Artistic Mother is written for moms who are artists and provides practical solutions for fitting art into everyday, busy lives.  It is beautifully written and very inspiring.

Art can also be a field trip or even a day trip opportunity!

The Amarillo Museum of Art is a beautiful place. It is small enough to enjoy in an hour, which is perfect for children. Admission is free and they have permanent as well as traveling exhibitions.

The Panhandle Plain Historical Museum in Canyon houses some incredible art galleries as well. The museum is HUGE, though, so I recommend making one trip for just art and go back a few days later to enjoy the rest of the museum.

Another treasure in our city is the Sunset Art Gallery. It houses the galleries and studios of over 60 local artists. They sponsor several events throughout the year including the "First Friday Art Walk".

We are within driving distance of The Citadelle in Canadian. This little-known gallery in an unlikely place is the home to the most impressive art collection in the Panhandle. Who would have ever dreamed?

We also live close to Tulia, the home of Kenneth Wyatt. His gallery is in his home, so call before you make the trip! If he is in town, he will either be mingling with the visitors or in his studio, painting. He is very warm and friendly and loves talking to children about art. 

When we return from one of these wonderful places, the kids walk in the door and head straight for the art shelf. It never fails.

My great "wise one", Zack, has now become an art critic. He is an astute student of art and has some very strong opinions. Yesterday, when telling him about our plans to visit the Theodore Wadell exhibition, he said, "Well I hope this is a good one. The last artwork we saw was horrible. Some people have lost the art of art." I have created a monster - I have created an art critic!

So, now it is your turn -

What do you do to keep your children creatively happy?

Where to Go, What to Do

It's funny how one tiny blog can start such big conversations. I posted about video games a few months ago and that little blip on the computer screen started something. It started a small movement, of sorts, to get out and do more. There have been questions, though, about what to do.

So, it the spirit of living a video-game-free lifestyle, I will start posting my own practical guide to keeping kids creative, active, and entertained. This is not an end-all guide on how to have fun with your children. Heavens, no!

You are the only expert on how to raise your children. I do not claim to be a parenting guru! I am however, the best, most knowledgeable, and insightful expert when it comes to raising my children, Bailey and Zack. So, this is just how I do things. This is not necessarily how you should do things. But maybe, just maybe, it will give you some ideas.

Be watching for my next post. I promise to post details of our fun, messy, outdoorsy, artsy, educational, busy days. But, also keep in mind that I am always on the hunt for new ideas. So, please play along by adding your own fun activities in the comment section! Let's keep the conversation going!

Just a Voice

He was just a voice on the radio - a nice voice, but still just a voice. He was famous in his corner of the world. Girls were dreamy-eyed when you mentioned his name. He had a following, but I was not part of that following. To me, he was just a voice.

My best friend, though, she was part of his following. She spoke of him almost daily. "He is so great," she would say, "You should listen more!" So I listened. He was funny. He was clever. He had a nice voice. I didn't see what all the fuss was about.

Until this day, my birthday, 20 years ago. This was the day my world would turn upside down.

My friend arranged a live, "on-air" birthday wish from her favorite morning show hosts. My phone rang at 6:30 that morning and I groggily answered.

"Is this Melissa?"

I recognized the echo-y voice from somewhere.

"Yes?"

"Hi this is Kris and Rod from the morning show!'

"OK."

"Your friend, Grace, called and told us today is your birthday!"

Who were this people and why were they so happy at this hour?

"OK."

Laughter on the other end of the line. Stupid radio people.

"Well, we just wanted to call and wish you a happy birthday! Is there anything we can play for you this morning?"

"No."

More laughter.

"So, tell me, Melissa, were up and listening this morning?

I think they know the answer to that one.

"No."

Belly laughs on the other end.

"Well, tune in when you wake up OK? Maybe in another hour or two? Happy Birthday, Melissa!"

"OK."

"That was great! That was classic!"

That was annoying. I went back to sleep.

My friend recorded the entire conversation on a little black cassette tape and played it at my birthday party. I was still a little annoyed by the whole thing.

He wasn't annoyed by me though. He claims that phone call was the beginning. He claims that after that crazy conversation, he knew he had to meet me.

My friend introduced us a few weeks later. We were both able to put a face with the voice over the airwaves and it was love at first sight. He became much more than just a voice and I knew I had met the love of my life.

20 years later, I can still say, that annoying, early morning, FCC-rule-breaking  phone call from those loud radio guys is the best birthday gift I have ever received.

I love you, "Chris Carmichael."

Gratitude List

Have you read Jesus Calling?  We have the original and the children's version. I get up early and read before the kids scramble out of bed, then I share each day's reading with Bailey and Zack over breakfast. It is a great way to set our day in motion.


A few mornings ago, I read this:

"I want all your moments to be punctuated with thanksgiving."

I have not been able to escape from this statement. I am a very busy mom. I am always running, always planning, always striving. I am always doing something, but very rarely is that something taking the time to be thankful. Yet, this is what He desires.

Always be joyful. Never stop praying. Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-8

I make lists - lots and lots of lists. I make grocery lists, to-do lists, reading lists, lists of creative ideas, lists of school projects to try, lists of new recipes, lists of music to buy. When I have run out of things to put on my lists, I make lists for everyone in our family. I like to make lists.

Today, I am starting a new list; My Gratitude List.

cornflakes with bananas and Jesus Calling

holding my husband's hand

the mocking bird that sings outside my window, even before sunrise (there has to be a lesson  in that somewhere)

brushing Bailey's long, black hair

purple salvia transplanted from my grandmother's garden

 

bike rides around the neighborhood on a pretty, pink bicycle

blank canvases

my neighbor's cat, Tom, who stops by for a daily visit

teaching my children at home

before and after photos (yes, the remodeling is slow, but so worth it)

mud on Zacky's bare feet

daily phone calls from Mom and Dad

egg drop soup

private jokes


yellow columbines that I didn't think would grow



April 19, 1995

It was a Wednesday morning. I was newly married and living in a little 2 bedroom apartment in Southwest Amarillo. I was getting ready to go to a science class at WTAMU in Canyon. I turned on the TV to watch Good Morning America while I ate a quick bite of breakfast and there it was.

A bomb had exploded in Oklahoma City.

I skipped the science class.

Fear gripped my heart and for days I was glued to the TV. I was in shock. The pictures were the most frightening thing I had ever seen and the children. . . . . . My heart broke for the children.

The photo of the little girl wearing yellow socks, being carried by the fireman changed my life. I was haunted by that image for years.

 My nephew, Ben, wore little yellow socks. He was three years old. He saw the image of this sweet baby on TV and asked, "Where is the mommy?" He knew she needed her mommy.

In the days that followed, family members were interviewed and we found out the baby's name was Bailey. I loved that baby. I loved all of those babies who were snatched away that Wednesday morning. I wanted to do something. I seriously considered jumping in my little red car and driving the short drive to OKC. Why? I don't know. I don't know what I thought I could do. I just wanted to do something.

Years passed, but I didn't forget Bailey. When we first began our adoption journey, we traveled to Tulsa for a meeting with our adoption agency. On the way home, we stopped at the OKC memorial and I found Bailey's chair. I couldn't stop the tears. I still felt the overwhelming desire to do something.

I did the only thing I knew to do.

Two years later, my sweet daughter traveled from Korea to Texas to be my little girl . . . .

and I named her Bailey.

Natural Playground Part II:I Didn't Know Kids Still Climbed Trees

A while back, a lady walked by and saw our children sitting in a tree. She stopped and watched them play for a short bit. "I didn't know kids still climbed trees", she said.

There is a new "disorder". I don't like all of the labels we smack on children, but this one is interesting. It is called "Nature Deficit Disorder"

Richard Louv first introduced this new disorder in his book, "Last Child in the Woods". He says,"Nature Deficit Disorder describes the human costs of alienation from nature, among them: diminished use of the senses, attention difficulties, and higher rates of physical and emotional illnesses."

He also writes, "Not too many years ago, a child's experience was limited by how far he or she could ride a bicycle or by the physical boundaries that parents set. Today ... the real boundaries of a child's life are set more by the number of available cable channels and videotapes, by the simulated reality of videogames, by the number of megabytes of memory in the home computer. Now kids can go anywhere, as long as they stay inside the electronic bubble."

You already know how I feel about children being exposed to too much technology, so I won't get on my soapbox about that again. Being a nature lover, I could go on and on about the joys of being outdoors and the importance of children having unstructured playtime outside.

As I wrote a few days ago, we are working to create a natural playground in our backyard. It is a project that has taken on a life of it's own and I can't wait until it is finished!

Our backyard is being transformed. What once was a land of plastic and metal is becoming a natural play space for our family. There are still plenty of man-made toys, but we are trying to incorporate more natural elements.

The swing set is gone. I had nothing against that wonderful play structure, but it was getting dangerous, rusty, and was taking up too much space. There was no room for a trampoline, so we decided to go another direction.

We now have a butterfly garden, or at least a raised bed full of tiny seedlings, ready to grow into plants that attract butterflies. There is a new raised bed for vegatables and a rock garden.

The sandbox went the way of the swing set. Why? Well, because, as Zack says, "You can't dig up worms in a sandbox. What I really want is dirt." He now has a beautiful, raised, "Dirt Box"; a designated spot for him to dig a hole to China.

We found a beautiful log that is being used as a balance beam and a huge tub of water for floating, splashing, and filling cups to take over the the "Dirt/Mud Box".

The treehouse is still a favorite with it's pulley bucket. It is getting a new rock wall and birdfeeders to hang from the side.

Our backyard is far from perfect and far from finished, but we are enjoying it. As Zack says, "I wish we had done this years ago."

Thursday Ramblings

I love teaching violin lessons. I love hearing sweet, squeeky sounds coming from tiny violins and I love hearing beautiful classical pieces flowing freely from the larger instruments. I love sharing the joy of music with young musicians. It is a gift.

I only teach 3 evenings a week. Yet, those 3 make for very long days. There is the job of homeschooling in the mornings and then I am off to the string studio. I return hours later, tired and hungry. Sometimes Kris has dinner waiting, sometimes I cook a simple meal. Then, I fall into bed with strians of suzuki pieces running through my brain. There are times I have dreamt of "Twinkles" and I have to laugh.

While I love teaching violin lessons, it is nice to take a break now and then. My "now and thens" happen to fall on Tuesdays and Thursdays. These are the days I am "Twinkle-free" and I can just relax with my family.

Today we finshed school before lunch. That gave us the entire afternoon together to just stay home and play. And play we did. We spent time outside, enjoying this warm, windy day. Then we went inside for some art time.

We started by planning our projects, then decided to eat a snack before the "messy" began. We couldn't decide on a snack, so we made kool-aid popsicles. While they were freezing, we started making mosiac paper weights, but what to do with the left over clay? Sculptures of course! Should we paint them? Maybe. Oh, wait, let's paint pictures instead! The sculptures need to dry, anyway. So, out came the water colors and beautiful, thick white paper. Oh, the popsicles - are they ready? Maybe, but it's too close to dinner time, so they will have to wait for dessert.

It's been a fun day and tomorrow I will make my way back to the string studio and teach a Bach minuet to some sweet little violinists.

I love my life.

Natural Playground Part I

The kids have outgrown the swingset.

It's funny how a little thing like a growth spurt can start such a mammoth chain of reaction. Something as simple as a growth spurt has changed my way of thinking and has taken over every waking moment.

My poor husband has the patience of a saint. He just smiles and nods when I tell him about my latest project.

The kids grew too big for the swingset. Oh, they still played on it, but it was getting dangerous and I was afraid they were going to tip it over. "So, let get a trampoline!" I said. But, yikes, our backyard is tiny! There is no room for a trampoline.

I sat the kids down and said, "What do you want to do with the backyard?" Ideas started flying and the next thing I know, we have a list a mile long of things they want to do in the backyard.

I started researching and discovered a wonderful new trend called "natural playgrounds". To my amazement, the kids were already on the road to creating a natural playground in our backyard. We put our heads together and came up with a plan.

Our homeschool curriculum took a backseat yesterday as we enjoyed a day of planning and working in the yard. Our natural playground is far from being finished, but it is well on it's way!

Today, however, we have to get caught up on math and history. I will post more details tomorrow!

Striving for Excellence

"Excellence" is a popular word. It is a "buzz word". Churches, schools, businesses - everyone is "striving for excellence". The word is over-used and getting somewhat annoying. But, who am I kidding? I have bought into the whole "striving for excellence" thing. I want to be the best and I "strive for excellence" everyday. I want to be the prettiest and the smartest. I want to be the best.

Of, course this is nothing new for me. I have always been secretly competing with everyone around me, but my biggest competitor has always been myself. I have a ferocious, brutal inner critic who tells me I will never be pretty, I will never be smart, I will never be the best. So, I continue to "strive for excellence", knowing I will never be good enough. I will never win.

I have set up a reward system for myself. I have a virtual sticker chart in my head and this is how it works: If I get my endless list of daily tasks completed with perfection, I will reward myself with something I love to do. Sounds innocent enough, right? The problem is, I am a perfectionist and over-ambitous when it comes to my "to-do" list and the reward never comes. I have earned my reward exactly 0 times.

So, what happens if I cheat and give myself my reward even if I haven't earned it? I am plagued with a viciously knawing guilt.

I don't think I am the only one who does this. I am not the only one who feels this way. It is a "girl thing". Girls are mean and the people we lash out at the most are ourselves. We all have that bloodthirsty inner critic telling us we will never be good enough, we will never earn our reward.

Yesterday, a friend suggested I read Mark 12:29 and I Corinithins 13.

It is easy to love my neighbor. I don't have to work at loving everyone else. I am patient and kind with others. I am not easily angered towards others. I do not dishonor others. So, I am doing great, right?

I don't think so. I am looking at my reward system and my persuit of excellence and asking myself, "Do I love my neighbor as I love myself? Am I patient with myself? Am I being kind? Am I keeping no record of wrongs?" The answer is "no".

Today, I am going to homeschool my children, clean our home, run a few errands, teach violin lessons, cook a yummy dinner. I will chip away at my endless to-do list, but I won't get it all done. I may not have a good hair day. I may feel a little frumpy in my jeans. I may drive a dirty car around town. But this evening, when I all is said and done, I am going to spend some time, doing something I love.

Today I am throwing my sticker chart out the window - the window that needs to be cleaned, the blinds replaced, the drapes dropped off at the cleaners . . . . .

Mark 12:29 “The most important one,” answered Jesus, “is this: ‘Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. 30 Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ 31 The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.”

I Corinthians 13:4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8 Love never fails.

Video Games

OK, OK, I admit it. I am one of "those" moms - one of those horrible mothers who will not buy video games for her children. I am mean, unfair, dorky, and old fashioned. I am in the minority. You know what? My children are surviving just fine. While I am making unpopular confessions, I may as well tell you we do not have satellite TV or even old fashioned cable. We have rabbit ears and a DVD player. I DO let them play games on the computer - more on that later.

Now, before you get offended, let me also tell you that I do NOT think families with video games are bad or evil! I am just defneding myself against parents who think I am bad or evil for not letting my children have them! Every family has it's own ideas. I am just telling you why my family doesn't do the video game thing.

It struck me last night as I was cooking dinner. Kris had taken Zack to basketball practice. Bailey was sitting at the kitchen table, painting a picture. The house was quiet. The only sounds were dinner sizzling on the stove and Bailey's soft voice, telling me about her day. It was peaceful. It was perfect.

The house is not always so quiet, but I prefer the sounds of children's voices to the sounds of TV or video games. Speaking of the house, it is not always clean, either. There is paint on the table, clay in the floor, some kind of contraption hanging from the door frame of Zack's room, a science experiment growing in a bowl in the bathroom sink.

Yesterday at lunch, Bailey and Zack were telling me about their plans for the afternoon. They listed off all the things they enjoy doing.

Bailey paints, weaves pot holders, sews little heart-shaped pillows, designs fashions for her dolls, writes stories, and reads - a lot. It is not unusual for her to finished 7-8 chapter books a week. She writes songs and plays them on her violin. She also enjoys interior decorating, scrapbooking, riding her bike, and cooking.

Zack invents things with lego bricks and tinker toys. He writes comic books. He researches all kinds of subjects and draws pictures about what he has learned. He read a book about juggling and is learning to juggle socks, oranges - whatever he can find. He is training the dog to do tricks. He builds solar ovens and grows flowers in a tiny garden.

Do they miss having video games? I don't think so. Remember? I let them play games on the computer. I tried using computer time as a reward instead of candy or allowance. They each have over an hour of computer time accumlated and they haven't used it. Why? They just don't have time. They are busy with other things.

They are busy going to figure skating lessons, basketball games, and making countless trips to the library. Zack spends a couple of hours each week in Pa Pa's shop, learning woodworking. Bailey takes violin lessons, Zack takes piano lessons. They both enjoy going to the park, Palo Duro Canyon, the Botanical Gardens, the Discovery Center - we make outings a priority!

We also love to travel. Our scheudle is flexible enough that we can get away for family trips to the mountains, or Dallas, or even just to Lubbock for a day trip.

In the evenings, we play board games, maybe watch TV together if there is something good on (which is rare), Kris reads "The Hardy Boys" to them (they have finished 17 books in the series), we eat dinner together, and talk. We listen to their adventures and the story lines of their books. We listen to their long monologues about things like friendship, God, war, forgivness, boogers, how cool it is to be double jointed, why pink and black are the perfect color combination for evening gowns, and the ultimate gross-ness of boys. Zack entertains us with his latest barrage of knock-knock jokes. Bailey gives concerts on her violin.

Our lifestyle requires an amazing amount of work. I am always cleaning up messes, driving Bailey and Zack to lessons, outings, and practices. I am always playing games, finding art supplies, maneuvering through the obastacle course that is Zack's "inventing studio", racing to keep Bailey stocked up on books, or planning our next family trip. Kris doesn't sit on the couch and watch TV when he gets home from work. He doesn't "veg out" on the computer or take a nap. He and Zack sit in the floor and play with legos, or he takes the kids around the block on their bikes, or plays chess, or visits with Bailey about figure skating and American Girl dolls. We are very busy parents and yes, we are always tired! Is it worth it? Yes, of course it is!

There may come a time in their lives when Bailey & Zack beg for video games and we may have to re-visit the issue. I have done a lot of things I said I would "never" do. But for now, I am enjoying our video game - free lifestyle - even if it makes me one of those horrible, mean, unfair, dorky, old fashioned moms.

Plan B

Several years ago, during a particularly difficult time in my life, my friend, Judy, gave me a book called "God Always has a Plan B". It's fun to look back at life and see all of the B plans with which god has blessed me.

The most recent Plan B is my little violin studio. It started out as a hobby. There were two little girls who wanted to learn to play and couldn't find an affordable teacher. "I can do that", I thought. Plan B? I now have 31 students and waiting list.

Bailey and Zack are B plans and that makes me laugh! Two of the greatest joys of my life were not planned, not expected. Their births were surprises - amazing little gifts dropped into my life.

Speaking of amazing gifts, not many people know that even Kris was a Plan B. You see, I was stubborn and spoiled and had absolutely no interest in meeting him. I refused to meet him face-to-face, so my friend, Grace arranged a phone call - on my birhtday - at 6:30am - live, on the air. What a beautifully funny and romantic birthday gift!

Another B Plan? Let's see.... our home, our church, even our beagle - all B plans.

So today, I am thankful for all of the B Plans and looking forward to how God is going to push my plans aside.

We can make our plans,
but the LORD determines our steps.
Proverbs 16:9