My Lovely Brown

I am not a coffee drinker.

I wish I was, I really do. I love the idea of coffee.

I think chunky, ceramic mugs are cute. I also think I would look really grown-up and trendy carrying around one of those paper cups with the nifty little lid. Coffee makes an incredible accessory. It goes with anything. Even jeans and a tee look cute with a coffee cup. It's like the "little black dress" of accessories. You just can't go wrong carrying around a cup of coffee.

I have tried to like it. I have tasted every kind of coffee I could find, but yuck. Every single sip makes me want to gag. It tastes like charcoal water and who wants to drink that?

Kris likes coffee. He frequents those trendy places with the bistro sets and the tan and burgundy walls. I always have to give him an extra long hug after he meets a friend for coffee. He smells so yummy. You see, I love the way coffee smells. I even bought a coffee candle. Imagine my embarrassment, though, when someone dropped by and asked to stay for a cup of that delicious-smelling coffee. "Oh no," I had to say, "I'm not hip enough to drink coffee. It's just a candle." Oh, how I wished coffee tasted the way it smells!

In November, Kris took me to Starbucks. (He had a gift card and he wanted a cheap date.) I stood there, desperately searching the menu for something I could choke down, when I spotted it - "Salted Caramel Hot Chocolate."

I like caramel. I like chocolate.

I was not prepared, however, for the utter bliss that I would feel upon my first sip of this nectar of the gods.

I truly embarrassed myself in front of my sweet husband. He thought I was having some sort of attack or something. I cannot mimic the sounds of joy that escaped my mouth. I thought I was going to die from . . . I don't know. . . ecstasy?

It tasted so perfectly delicious and on top of that . . . . it came in one of those paper cups with that nifty little lid! Finally, I had found perfection in my world. The most wonderful tasting beverage and a darling accessory all in one package! My heart is, even now, thumping wildly at the thought of this discovery.

But my joy was matched with an equal sorrow when December rolled around and "salted caramel" was replaced on the menu by "peppermint". Peppermint! My heart ached at the realization that "Salted Caramel Hot Chocolate" was a seasonal menu item - available during the autumn months only.

Depression set in over the months of December and half of January.

That is, until this week.

Out of sheer desperation, I asked my husband to drive me to Roaster's. I needed caramel hot chocolate and I needed it bad. Roaster's is a cute little coffee shop. It smells nice. No caramel hot chocolate, though. Fighting back tears, I asked my husband to see if the little coffee guy behind the counter would make me some hot chocolate and add caramel. You know what? The little guy said "OK. Sure thing!" He was even chipper about it and acted like it was perfectly normal for the husband of a teary, desperate, imbalanced female to ask for caramel.

One sip and I knew I had found what I had been looking for. My heart was finally home.

But, oh, what does this mean? Have I wasted almost two months mourning a beverage I could have been drinking all along? Oh, the pain, the regret! What have I done? What have missed?

Alas, after much soul searching, I have resolved to not give in to the regret of past mistakes. I will no longer torment myself. What's done is done. I cannot change the past. All I can do it look to the future and enjoy each day as it comes.

I will not take for granted my luscious Caramel Hot Chocolate. I will relish each and every sip. I will not think on those darkest of days, spent away from my lovely brown. I am bravely walking towards a new dawn; a new chapter.

.....and don't I look fab carrying my paper cup with that nifty little lid?

Time

The afternoon of News Year's Eve was spent watching videos of Bailey and Zack. It is amazing how much they have changed and grown over the years. We laughed at Bailey (18 months) picking Zack's nose (10 months). We listened to Zack (2 years) "read" The Very Hungry Caterpillar. We cried while we watched Bailey's adoption referral video, filmed at the Babies' Home in Seoul. We were amazed, once again, by the miracle of our children.

Something struck me, while watching videos of my sweet babies. Maybe it is because we were married for 9 years before having children, I don't know, but time does not seem to be zipping by like I thought it would. I have heard time and time again, parents advise me to enjoy every minute because children grow up so fast. Watching Bailey and Zack as babies I was amazed that it really doesn't seem like yesterday. It seems like 7 years ago.

I believe the agonizing wait was, actually, a blessing. I had time to enjoy my marriage and plan for my future. I think this is why I have enjoyed every minute of being mommy. I haven't taken a single moment for granted. I love my children more than life itself.

That is why, I think, I don't dread seeing my children grow up.

Of course, Bailey was cute and silly at age 2. But, you know what? She is beautiful and compassionate, and, yes, still silly at age 7. I am in love with Bailey - not her age.

Zack was a sweet, chubby, drooly baby at 9 months. I loved seeing his pudgy arms reach for me. At 7, though, he gives the best hugs and makes me laugh like no one else can. I love the boy named Zack, not his age.

So, as Bailey's birthday rolls around next month, you won't hear me complain about the fact that she is getting older. You will hear me sing and cheer and celebrate the fact that the world has been blessed by the presence of my amazing daughter for 8 entire years! What a miracle!

I am blessed.

I am excited about what the future holds for my family.

I am ready to celebrate!

Our Homeschool Classroom

This is our happy little homeschool classroom! It is actually a second living area at the back of the house. (This is the view from the kitchen.)




This is our reading corner. I started reading to Bailey and Zack when they were infants. They have now developed their own love for books and spend a lot of time in this little corner. Library books are kept in the white basket between the bean bags. This makes a huge difference when the due date rolls around. We don't have to search then entire house for library books. The cute little hedgehog bean bags came from Target. They are made out of corduroy and are super-soft and comfy.




These are the snowflakes hanging over our reading corner. We had suns in August and September, owls in October and November. I'm not sure what I will hang up next. Raindrops maybe? or Kites?



This is a handy place to keep our current favorites. These books are the ones that are most reached for. The latest and greatest titles include "Tobia, the Quig, and the Rumplenut Tree", "Tops and Bottoms", "The Wide-Mouthed Frog", "Peeny Butter Fudge", "Super Hero Swamp", and "I Saw an Ant on the Railroad Track."



Bailey and Zack enjoy having their own workspace. All of their school supplies are kept in their desks and their text books are in little book bins on the floor beside each desk.

Behind their desks, we hang artwork on a clothesline hung over the windows. There are flashcards on the windowsill.

The big yellow tub in the corner contains "Free Choice Time Activities". There are lots of goodies in the tub that serve as great motivation tools!





These are the built in storage cabinets and entertainment center (which we use as a computer desk.) The desk top is a constant source of frustration because it stays so cluttered. I am still trying to find a way to keep this area organized. It drives me crazy!



This is the front of the classroom. We have a white board/chart stand combo that my mother bought for us, a felt board for storytelling, and one of my many handy-dandy pocket charts. There is also a huge pocket chart (not pictured) that hangs on the back of the door.



Art is very important to our family. These are Bailey and Zack's art supplies that they use daily. The cabinet beneath is also full of supplies. We do something creative everyday!



Behind my desk is Bailey and Zack's library. These books are organized and color coded. I created my own coding system for our little library and it works wonderfully. We have around 520 books that are currently in our system. Bailey and Zack also have their own "private collections" that are in their bedrooms. We love shopping for books and frequently add to our library.



This is the top of my desk. Every once in a while, when working on a big project, I clear off my desk and we use it as a shared work table. Most of the time, though, this is my little spot.



At the end of each messy school day, we take a few minutes to tidy up our classroom. Bailey and Zack have a great respect for learning and work hard to maintain their learning space. Each morning, they walk into a clean classroom, excited about what new and exciting things await!

They Called Him Laughter

Zack makes me laugh.

When he was born, I said I wanted to name him "Laughter". Kris talked me out of it, but that name would have fit him very well for several reasons.

I first wanted to give him that name because of the Michael Card song about Sarah that says,

"They called him Laughter, for he came after
The father had made an impossible promise come true."

"An improbable infant, a punchline, a promise come true.
They laughed til they wept, then laughed at their tears
This miracle baby they've wanted for years".

Then later, my dad said our story was proof that God has a sense of humor. You know, begging for a baby and then having two within 4 months! That's funny! So, let's name him "Laughter!"

Zack is funny. His one-liners keep us laughing all day. He wakes up funny and he goes to bed even funnier! So, why shouldn't he have the name "Laughter"?

He tells jokes, and puts grapes between his toes. He makes insightfully hilarious comments about the world around him. He makes funny costumes and tries to train the dog to do silly things. He hides in boxes and wears underwear on his head. He helps me see the humor in the mundane. He gives everyone and everything funny nick-names. He belly laughs in his sleep, dreaming, I guess, of his plans for the next day.

My mom called they other day and said, "I just wanted to call and see what Zack said today!"

Bailey has always enjoyed his humor. When they were babies, he would make funny noises to make her laugh. One day, Bailey was upset and fussy. Nothing we did would calm her. Then Kris had a brilliant idea. Go get Zack. We held Zack over her crib and bingo! Her tears turned to laughter! He still believes it is his job to make her laugh and he does. Daily. She calls him "my funny brother".

I tried to keep a journal of the funny things that he says and does, but it's impossible to write down everything. I have decided to quit trying to record everything he says and just relax and enjoy him.

He is a delightful child. He is a little ray of sunshine that burst unexpectedly into our world. He is a joy!

So, why not "Laughter"? Or a least "Isaac"?

Well, because his name is "Zackariah" - "Jehovah has remembered you" - and that name fits him even better.